Childhood memories

Posted: December 28, 2009 in Uncategorized

This Christmas has been a very special Christmas.  It was my first Christmas in San Diego.  It was a lot of fun, especially since Lisa and Chris came down with the Grandkids.  It’s interesting to see my dad as he interacts and plays with his grandchildren.  A lot of it I remember from when I was a child.  He would play these games like trying to make me smile and I would try not to, or the tickle wars, or just the funny little sayings that he would say.  Sadly, when my parents divorced I lost a lot of that.  I had to grow up pretty quickly.  I was told that I needed to be the man of the house.  I didn’t get to spend as much time as I wanted to with my dad.  I missed a lot of special things because of that.  It’s sad to think that I missed so much of my life that most boys get to spend with their dads.  I didn’t get to do a lot of the stuff that fathers and sons get to do together, and what I did get to do was crammed into the occasional summer.  It hurts to know that I didn’t get to be around my father as much as I wanted to.  I often wonder if I would be a better man if I would have.  Don’t get me wrong, my mom did a fantastic job raising me and I am so happy for all that she did, but a young boy needs his father.  There are certain things a boy misses when a father is not around. 

Looking at the other side as well, I can’t even begin to wonder how my dad felt knowing that he missed so much of it as well.  I know that he wishes that I had the same opportunities with my dad that his grandchildren have with him.  I missed that.  There is a part of me that wishes I could go back and experience what I missed.  But alas, I cannot.  All I can do is enjoy what I have with my father now, which I would not give up for anything in the world.  I love being able to see my father pretty much whenever I want.  I love going to church with my dad and worshiping God with him on the praise team.  I love getting advice from him (most of the time, haha.)  But most importantly I love the fact that I now have my dad in my life, and that to me is the best Christmas present I could receive.

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