The 7 People You Meet in a Parking Lot.

Posted: April 11, 2010 in Uncategorized

Finding a parking spot can be quite an adventure, especially when you are battling the other thousands of people looking for one as well.  I went to Balboa Park today and I think that everyone else in San Diego had the same idea.  Now, the interesting thing about finding a parking spot is that everyone has a certain strategy that they have used over the years to find that ever so elusive spot.  Below is a list of the 7 people you might meet when trying to find a parking spot:

The Stalker

Have you ever been leaving a mall or walking to your car and thought you were being followed by someone going 2.5 miles per hour in their car?  Then you have been the victim of the stalker.  This person ever so quietly follows those that are leaving in hopes of grabbing their parking space.  This has been known to backfire occasionally when they follow someone who is merely returning to place something in their car and not actually leaving. 

The Plopper

This is a little bit like the Stalker, but instead of following people you just sit in the middle of the parking lot in hopes that someone will leave soon.  This usually creates confusion with other parking spot hunters because they don’t know whether you are waiting for someone to back out or if you’re just plopping.  This eventually leads to a traffic jam as others try to maneuver around the “plopped” car.

The Looper

This person, unlike the Plopper or Stalker, just continues to loop around the same section of the parking lot hoping that the next time he comes around a spot will be open.  This strategy is usually for people who don’t have a real strategy so they drive around hoping something opens up.

The Passer

This driver really drives people crazy (yes, the pun was intended.)  This is the person who starts off as a looper, then passes an open spot, slams on their brakes and then attempts to back up with all the cars behind them just so they can have a spot.  

The Kamikaze

Of all the parking lot hunters out there, the Kamikaze is by far the most dangerous.  This driver does not care who you are, you just better be out of their way when they try to park.  It doesn’t matter if you are waiting for a car to move, or even have your blinker on (which means “finders keepers” in parking terms) they don’t care.  They will fly around you, jump in front of you and even cut you off just for a parking spot.

The Spotter

This one is for professionals only.  Now in order to pull this off you have to have a sidekick.  Here’s how it works:  The sidekick steps out of the car and patrols the parking lot looking for people who are leaving.  He’s like the stalker but with no car.  He is on foot.  Once he finds a spot that is opening up, he will call the drive and alert them of the situation.  Once the space has been opened up, the spotter then stands in the spot, alerting other drivers of the “finder’s keeper’s” rule, and hoping that the other drivers, especially the Kamikaze doesn’t try to force them out of the spot by using their vehicle as a weapon.  Let’s just say you have to have a lot of guts to pull this off. 

The Squeezer

This is the person who attempts to park their car or usually in this case their gigantic SUV into a spot that they can’t possibly park in.  This usually happens in 2 different scenarios:

            The parking lot:  This usually occurs when other cars have done a bad job of parking and leave a space that a motorcycle would have trouble parking in.  They usually either barely fit in and can’t open their doors or they have to give up.

            On the street:  This happens when a person believes they can parallel park their car in between 2 other cars and they do the parallel parking dance.  This dance includes going between forward and reverse very slowly and turning the steering wheel in a vain attempt to fit their 12 foot SUV in a 7 foot spot.  This usually causes a traffic jam behind them until they give up on their futile attempt.

Which one are you?

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